As I have just posted on Twitter, the 2009 Wad of Over-hyped Movie Suck is
Paranormal Activity. There is not a single genuine scare in the entire movie, not even close. The really Uncouraging bit about the ill-gotten hype over this movie is not that it will gross more than $100 million. No, what is truly Uncouraging is how many people were legitimately scared poopless by this film. The only poop I lost was when I went to the restroom and took a dump midway through because I knew I wouldn't miss anything. I can understand why a critic may have sold themselves out to give this a positive review, but that anyone actually was "physically affected" by this movie seems impossible. I take that back, because in truth I was physically affected by the film; I was so annoyed with the actors my fist cramped from wanting to punch them in the face while they were on screen.
These are the actors...You should hate them!
The wafer thin plot line seemed to have been made up on the fly. Actually the entire film seemed to be like a home movie a couple of kids with a camera put together on a rainy afternoon. You could have story-boarded the whole thing in a Sunday comic strip. But hey, if the idea was to redo the Blair Witch Project, just really, really, really, really poorly, bravo!
2 comments:
That picture makes it look like Lindsey Lohan and the ugly guy from New Kids On the Block made a horror movie. I'm going to sit on the toilet and think about this.
Dude, the movie was so bad I was rooting for the demon midway through, just after I took that dump.
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