Recessipodes : A Liberal Halloween (click Image to view in full)

The Belated Interview Review

The Job in the late September post ended up being most Uncouraging. The night before the Interview, I googled the company to learn some jargon I could spit back at my Interviewer, only to find that the company name was all over a bunch of scam warning websites. The Company had four different names, all listed at the same address, and when I arrived in their parking lot I noticed that the parking signs listed one name, the archway sign another and the glass front door yet another. None of the were the company name used on the job posting I had found.

Much as the scam warning had warned, I was rushed through a nonsensical interview and met with anger when I asked logical questions. During the Interview I could hear loud techno music coming from the lobby that had been decorated like a night club and had a similar smell. The receptionist looked like 2 am on a Saturday morning outside of the night club they were trying to imitate in the lobby. The Interviewer looked like the drunk guy in a cheap suit with semi-slicked back hair that was going to try to bring the receptionist home. His knuckledragger response to my logical queries solidified his meat-headedness.

Moments after I left the purposely uninformative interview, I was called by the streaked eyeliner receptionist and encouraged to come back the next day for a "Second Interview" that would take place on-site at a store location with one of their Sales Reps and would consist of me working for eight hours hawking cheap products on the sidewalk in front of a legitimate store that had forgotten to previously, but would soon, put up a no soliciting sign the front window. I declined the uncouraging offer and decided to remain unemployed with dignity.

For a solid laugh at my expense check out the following Link:

http://www.ripoffreport.com/Sales-People/Redline-Executive/redline-executive-event-in-3wy6d.htm

Peace be with the damned,
Little Bro Uncouraged (LBU)

Late Night Ranger

Blueberry Feels Your Pain

Finding a job your perfect for is damn near impossible these days...just ask Blueberry Johnson

The State - MTV Shows

Ah Ye Privileged and Faithful !

Today is a day of greatness. The long since updated Uncouragement is back, and what an era of great uncouragement it is back for. Our leader has moved to Vermont and successfully found his position of joy and bliss doing the activity he loves, golfing. Wait a minute ... That's encouraging. Is it not?

But wait! One of his kin has moved to California in search of joy and bliss. And what of his success? Uncouragement! Follow young and wayward obi through his trials and tribulations of a mid-recession jobhunt. Be dazzled by stories and pictures alike. Be rattled to the core by the harshness of reality and its absurdity.

You were once privileged enough to know of past uncouragements. You were faithful in their absence. Today they have returned! Today IS a day of greatness, and great Uncouragement.

Stay tuned for the results of obi's late afternoon interview ...

March Madness

Have you ever been in your car and almost gotten into an accident due to a commercial giving you a small stroke? I had been stroke free until the other day when a commercial made me forget what I was doing and make a not so safe entry onto a busy highway. What commercial, radio commercial mind you, could have been so outrageous as to stymie my brain function? A March Madness sale, on vasectomies. Any advertisement promoting vasectomy procedures would have thrown me a bit, but this one was stunning. The entire ad drew a connection between the NCAA Basketball Tournament, nicknamed March Madness, and getting a discounted procedure to sterilize your baby makers. Basketballs and balls in your basket.

Having been in sales I am familiar with tried and true techniques to sell just about anything. One technique exploited by this ad was to create a sense of urgency. The funny part is what they decided was so urgent. "Get your appointment scheduled now so we can perform your vasectomy before the start of the tournament". Good thinking! Lord knows I don't want to have an ice pack on my crippled jewels during the Final Four. Then they suggest "Why not take the next few days recovering from your vasectomy watching the first couple rounds?" The first round is played over two days, Thursday and Friday. That's right, have an elective procedure in order to call out from work and be able to watch the opening round games. The true March Madness is that there will be a guy or two that will take advantage of this opportunity having never even considered a vasectomy prior to the ad.

The commercial's coup de grace, however, was what really drove a figurative nail into my mental coffin. "Call now to take advantage of this March Madness discount and LOWER YOUR SEED!" For those not familiar with the March Madness tournament, 64 teams are seeded in four sets of #1-#16. Your number is your seed. Thus completing the most bizarre ad correlation I have ever come across. I no longer listen to the radio.

Check Yo Self Fool

The most uncouraging thing I see in everyday life is our lack of continued evolution. As a subscriber to the theory that says it is possible for earth's creatures to adapt and advance I feel we humans have reached a pivotal moment. When we should be concerning ourselves with harnessing the use of more than 10% of our brain we seem satisfied to actually use less. I struggle to think of a location on Earth where this is more prevalent than the United Idiots of America. As we could readily see in the now defunct Human Stain Americans, on a daily basis, unevolving. We take good ideas, dumb them down and turn them into filth. My most recent proof of our collective mental block is Self Checkout.

I was in a store the other day (for reasons of anonymity let's just say it rhymes with Hall-Fart) and I had two gallons of organic milk, a humidifier and a replacement coat button (that I was able to get all of these things in one store is convenient, that I lacked the strength at the time to boycott an evil and socially destructive corporation for the sake of that convenience is a whole other blog post). There were twenty-some-odd register lanes of which only four were open. Stuffed into the open register lanes were single shoppers with multiple carts full of discount merchandise. Option two was the one open (of two possible) express lane. One look at the express lane and a simple equation popped into my head; 20 people x 10 items each = screwed. This left the Self Checkout occupied by eight people, sadly none of them using it correctly. People's brains seem to switch off when they enter the Self Checkout as if relying on the automation to to think for them. During my fifteen minutes in line I witnessed every bit of common sense, rule of etiquette or shred of civility dumped faster than my computer's Trash Can empties. I won't get into detail on my total experience, but I will offer up the following list of thoughts to improve something that should have been easily integrated into society and you'll get the picture.

1. Utilize All Of The Technology Available
This one is the most simple and therefore most egregious violation of common sense. If there are four Self Checkout machines on the premises how many should be turned on? Four! Unless broken anything less than four is so dumb I can't even begin...nope can't even begin. Is the machine on a freakin' break? Aw, is the little scanner powered by electricity tie-erred? Or does the mastermind at the ship's helm only have the capacity to stand and watch two people fail at operating simple machinery?
2. Self Checkout Has One Line
When you go to the bank there is that funny little rat maze they make you go through to establish your place in line. You know why they do this? So when the next teller becomes available the person at the front of the maze receives service. Then, stay with me now, when another teller becomes available the person who has assumed the lead position in line receives service. The assumption is that they were there first therefore they go first and there is a sense of order. This simple function is applied at ticket counters, the DMV, etc.. Then we get to the Self Checkout and apparently this basic idea is completely lost. People, without hesitation, will assume a position to be next at a particular check out machine they think offers them the quickest opportunity to scan their items. Do we need ropes? Seems that way. We have de-evolved to the point in which there is a need for a breed of dogs that herd us.
3. Self Checkout Is An Extension Of The Express Lane
There is no need, or should be no need, for a posted sign on this one. If you think for a minute the Self Checkout was supposed to be used for anything other than a few items you are denser than ironwood. Here's the breakdown:
A hand basket full or less - You get it More than 20 items - You're a bit of a jerk A shopping cart full - You're a dick Two shopping carts full (I've seen this) - You're the kind of asshole that deserves a public execusion
Self Checkout was designed to make transactions faster. Doing the job of both cashier and bagger makes things what class? SLOW-ERR. That's right kids.
4. There Should Be No Need For A Human Monitor
There are only two reasons for needing a person to watch people check themselves out and both suck. First, a certain percentage of people are inevitably going to require help. This is just sad. Scan, place in bag, pay. Operating this kind of technology does not require a training course or support staff. For the most part though, this is the main function I have seen carried out by the staffed monitor. Secondly, someone needs to make sure all of the items are being scanned. What does this say about how far we've actually come as a society when if not for the intimidating presence of a high school junior a large chunk of the population would ommit scanning and paying for items. Isn't not stealing one of those commandment thingies? Beyond the thought of theft for the sake of it how dumb do you have to be to have a criminal record for shoplifitng tube socks? Dumb enough to not realize how to properly use the Self Checkout, that's how dumb.