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| Lady Gaga, a dress made of meat and Cher |
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| Troy Polamalu |
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Most Uncouraging Image Of 2010...So Far
I don't watch MTV's Video Music Awards. Mostly because I don't care for most any Pop music and I really can't stand the Pop artists. I didn't even know they still made music videos or that MTV actually aired any of them so I was surprised to find out that there continues to be an awards show for music videos. Regardless, I still couldn't give a damn anyway. The day after the awards the net went crazy about this meat dress Lady Gaga was wearing. I saw the photo of Lady Gaga and Cher on stage and knew at that moment America is doomed. Yes, the dress, hat and boots Lady Gaga was wearing are made entirely out of meat. No, that's not Troy Polamalu in drag standing next to her.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Why Must They Make Me Hate: An Affair with Auto Insurance
My girlfriend and I share a car. We carpool when we can, sometimes I ride my bike to work. She was driving home from work on the 15 in lovely San Diego County in rush hour stop and go traffic. While she was stopped in said traffic, the guy behind her accelerated and didn't stop accelerating until he hit her. Smooth Moves Homeslice!
He was driving a Hertz rental car and said he had purchased their insurance but didn't have any documentation. The police were called but wouldn't come out because no one was injured. My girlfriend gathered up Homeslice's Drivers License info and got out of him that he has AAA as a carrier for his normal policy. She drives home only to have the exhaust fall off a few miles from our house.
I ghetto-rig the exhaust back on and call Hertz. They say the accident hasn't been reported yet, but they'll keep me posted. Two weeks go by, I've called twenty times with no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this has been. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that Homeslice had never purchased the insurance from Hertz and that they are filing a claim with AAA. They give me the claim number and the AAA hotline.
I call AAA and report my half of the claim. They apologize for the delay, but say its not their fault because Homeslice had waited 2 weeks to report the accident. Smooth Moves Homeslice! Convinced that things will now start to get taken care of, I relax.
Two weeks go by, I've called AAA twenty times with no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this has been. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that they are sorry for the delay and will get me a rental car until my car is fixed.
The rental car is nice, 2009 Nissan Maxima, plush. My lady and I drive the creampuff around for a week an their ticket, but we're still paying for the extra insurance for the rental. I call AAA five times that week with no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them that hey can't just sit around with their thumbs in the butt while I pay $20 a day. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that they are sorry for the delay but my adjuster has been out on sick leave and they'll pay for the extra insurance too.
This entire time, since we got the rental, my car's been in a dealership's parking lot with a repair quote and I've been speaking to the mechanic about my options. He , myself and AAA agree to do nothing.
A month goes by. I've been driving the creampuff around, my car's still in the dealership's parking lot, AAA is still dicking around. I get a phone call from the dealership saying that they just heard from AAA that they're going to send me a check for the repairs. Fancy that, guess I'm the last to know. I call AAA three times, no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I'm in a good mood now that my car is going to get fixed, so I say "hello" sweetly and ask what the deal is. They inform me that as a matter of fact they meant to call me because they aren't going to fix my car they are going to considered it a total loss and send me a check for what the car is worth, which ain't much. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this has been. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that they are sorry for the delay because they actually determined this 2 weeks ago but somehow the quote got lost so no one informed me. I flip out again. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this is going to be and how I could have been looking for a new car for 2 weeks but instead they've just been dragging their feet and wasting my time and f-ing with my money. I've always wanted to say that and did actually say that to the woman at AAA. "You're fucking with my money!"
Life Goal #253, Check.
My anger seemingly gets me nowhere and I'm forced to wait for what may be eternity to hear back from them. For three days I plan my strategy. I'm ready to tell them that I'm not signing anything or accepting any check from them until I've had atleast a week to look for a new car and that they're going to continue to pay for my rental until I find one. If they don't comply I'm going to start filing insurance fraud claims against them and their client, Homeslice. On the fourth day, I get a call from an outside legal group and they tell me that AAA is willing to offer me close to twice the value of my car...?
I think about it for a few days and weigh my options with the mechanic and the DMV and my friend who works with cars and auto insurance companies. The conclusion that I come to is that I can take the check, buy back my car as a salvage, have it repaired and still walk away with a check worth the actual value of the car. I'm excited but weary of such a seemingly good deal. Then I get the call.
AAA's claims department calls me with an accusitory tone and a bunch of questions about my initial reporting of the accident. They wanna know why I said the accident happened at point A in stop and go traffic, when the police report says it happened at point B at 80 mph. What? I flip out. I start yelling about how there is no police report, that they have a lot of balls to put me through all this and then accuse me of lying and that somebody should arrest Homeslice for being a complete moron and a liar. The claims agent says "What do you mean? He's already been arrested, he got a DWI at the scene of the accident. Wait, what's your girlfriend's name?" I tell him and he gets real quiet and says that that isn't the name on the police report. "What time was your accident?" I tell him and he gets even quieter and says that the police report says it was an hour and half later. I ask "Do you mean to tell me that your client was drunk when he hit my girlfriend and then drove off and hit someone else at 80 mph." He goes silent. After a few moments he says very softly "It looks like that may be what happened". Smooth Move Homeslice.
All of a sudden the big settlement number made sense. They thought they were getting rid of a DWI accident claim for 5,000 bucks. They didn't realize that they had a whole notha claim bitches.
In the end, all my flipping out got me my car fixed, a sweet check, a month of driving around in a creampuff and left them paying $1,400 dollars for the rental and double the actual amount of my car in a settlement.
I don't see any reason to be nice, ever again.
He was driving a Hertz rental car and said he had purchased their insurance but didn't have any documentation. The police were called but wouldn't come out because no one was injured. My girlfriend gathered up Homeslice's Drivers License info and got out of him that he has AAA as a carrier for his normal policy. She drives home only to have the exhaust fall off a few miles from our house.
I ghetto-rig the exhaust back on and call Hertz. They say the accident hasn't been reported yet, but they'll keep me posted. Two weeks go by, I've called twenty times with no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this has been. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that Homeslice had never purchased the insurance from Hertz and that they are filing a claim with AAA. They give me the claim number and the AAA hotline.
I call AAA and report my half of the claim. They apologize for the delay, but say its not their fault because Homeslice had waited 2 weeks to report the accident. Smooth Moves Homeslice! Convinced that things will now start to get taken care of, I relax.
Two weeks go by, I've called AAA twenty times with no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this has been. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that they are sorry for the delay and will get me a rental car until my car is fixed.
The rental car is nice, 2009 Nissan Maxima, plush. My lady and I drive the creampuff around for a week an their ticket, but we're still paying for the extra insurance for the rental. I call AAA five times that week with no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them that hey can't just sit around with their thumbs in the butt while I pay $20 a day. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that they are sorry for the delay but my adjuster has been out on sick leave and they'll pay for the extra insurance too.
This entire time, since we got the rental, my car's been in a dealership's parking lot with a repair quote and I've been speaking to the mechanic about my options. He , myself and AAA agree to do nothing.
A month goes by. I've been driving the creampuff around, my car's still in the dealership's parking lot, AAA is still dicking around. I get a phone call from the dealership saying that they just heard from AAA that they're going to send me a check for the repairs. Fancy that, guess I'm the last to know. I call AAA three times, no response, finally I call and wait forever on hold until I get an actual person. I'm in a good mood now that my car is going to get fixed, so I say "hello" sweetly and ask what the deal is. They inform me that as a matter of fact they meant to call me because they aren't going to fix my car they are going to considered it a total loss and send me a check for what the car is worth, which ain't much. I flip out. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this has been. They wait until I'm done and then inform me that they are sorry for the delay because they actually determined this 2 weeks ago but somehow the quote got lost so no one informed me. I flip out again. I'm yelling and telling them what an inconvenience this is going to be and how I could have been looking for a new car for 2 weeks but instead they've just been dragging their feet and wasting my time and f-ing with my money. I've always wanted to say that and did actually say that to the woman at AAA. "You're fucking with my money!"
Life Goal #253, Check.
My anger seemingly gets me nowhere and I'm forced to wait for what may be eternity to hear back from them. For three days I plan my strategy. I'm ready to tell them that I'm not signing anything or accepting any check from them until I've had atleast a week to look for a new car and that they're going to continue to pay for my rental until I find one. If they don't comply I'm going to start filing insurance fraud claims against them and their client, Homeslice. On the fourth day, I get a call from an outside legal group and they tell me that AAA is willing to offer me close to twice the value of my car...?
I think about it for a few days and weigh my options with the mechanic and the DMV and my friend who works with cars and auto insurance companies. The conclusion that I come to is that I can take the check, buy back my car as a salvage, have it repaired and still walk away with a check worth the actual value of the car. I'm excited but weary of such a seemingly good deal. Then I get the call.
AAA's claims department calls me with an accusitory tone and a bunch of questions about my initial reporting of the accident. They wanna know why I said the accident happened at point A in stop and go traffic, when the police report says it happened at point B at 80 mph. What? I flip out. I start yelling about how there is no police report, that they have a lot of balls to put me through all this and then accuse me of lying and that somebody should arrest Homeslice for being a complete moron and a liar. The claims agent says "What do you mean? He's already been arrested, he got a DWI at the scene of the accident. Wait, what's your girlfriend's name?" I tell him and he gets real quiet and says that that isn't the name on the police report. "What time was your accident?" I tell him and he gets even quieter and says that the police report says it was an hour and half later. I ask "Do you mean to tell me that your client was drunk when he hit my girlfriend and then drove off and hit someone else at 80 mph." He goes silent. After a few moments he says very softly "It looks like that may be what happened". Smooth Move Homeslice.
All of a sudden the big settlement number made sense. They thought they were getting rid of a DWI accident claim for 5,000 bucks. They didn't realize that they had a whole notha claim bitches.
In the end, all my flipping out got me my car fixed, a sweet check, a month of driving around in a creampuff and left them paying $1,400 dollars for the rental and double the actual amount of my car in a settlement.
I don't see any reason to be nice, ever again.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Paranormally Bad
As I have just posted on Twitter, the 2009 Wad of Over-hyped Movie Suck is Paranormal Activity. There is not a single genuine scare in the entire movie, not even close. The really Uncouraging bit about the ill-gotten hype over this movie is not that it will gross more than $100 million. No, what is truly Uncouraging is how many people were legitimately scared poopless by this film. The only poop I lost was when I went to the restroom and took a dump midway through because I knew I wouldn't miss anything. I can understand why a critic may have sold themselves out to give this a positive review, but that anyone actually was "physically affected" by this movie seems impossible. I take that back, because in truth I was physically affected by the film; I was so annoyed with the actors my fist cramped from wanting to punch them in the face while they were on screen.
These are the actors...You should hate them!
The wafer thin plot line seemed to have been made up on the fly. Actually the entire film seemed to be like a home movie a couple of kids with a camera put together on a rainy afternoon. You could have story-boarded the whole thing in a Sunday comic strip. But hey, if the idea was to redo the Blair Witch Project, just really, really, really, really poorly, bravo!
These are the actors...You should hate them!The wafer thin plot line seemed to have been made up on the fly. Actually the entire film seemed to be like a home movie a couple of kids with a camera put together on a rainy afternoon. You could have story-boarded the whole thing in a Sunday comic strip. But hey, if the idea was to redo the Blair Witch Project, just really, really, really, really poorly, bravo!
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